So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
