I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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