someone threw a dead crab at me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
