would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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