They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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