Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
