i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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