so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
