Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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