My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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