toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I didn't shave. On purpose
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
