I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
