i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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