I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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