i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
