Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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