Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
