i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
