My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
