please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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