i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
