I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
