I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
