Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
