Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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