put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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