good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
