Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
