You can't motorboat a personality
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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