I don't think brook has ever known best
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
