so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
