My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
