what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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