Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
