Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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