i would punch a child for taco bell
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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