I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
