i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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