North Korea, Best Korea!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
