wat bout pragnant strippers??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am midnight drunk by noon
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
