We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
