i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
