yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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