Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Every concussion has its silver lining
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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