I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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