JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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