How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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