The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize