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can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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