we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
