yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
