you win again, gameday.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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