Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
