Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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