plz talk dirty to me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
