my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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