cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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