Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
