Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
