just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
