ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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