So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
