do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
