Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
