whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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